The Problem With Giants
Just when you’ve heaved yourself over the last mountain, have found the castle and are ready to relax a little it comes as a great shock to find not everyone is as pleased with your achivements as you are. Suddenly your castle is full of green-eyed monsters and greedy ogres. Feeling their own dreams belittled and threatened by having to share a little of their territory, they suddenly begin sniffing you out and hunting you down - ready to throw you out or devour you, depending on their mood. A dismissive comment here, a backstabbing there and suddenly you’re on the outside again, wondering how you ended up, in addition to being tired from your climb, having your very existence threatened - ie. your work opportunities, your reputation and most frightening of all, your future.
I have more experience in this than I ever thought I would. I had a big dream and pursued it as best I knew how. I even moved to a different country. Imagine my delight when I got the call of my dreams - invited to enter the castle of my dreams, become privvy to the inner workings of that wonderous place. I had succeeded! The first week I was walking on clouds. To be amongst those greats and a part of the machine, no matter how small a cog, felt like such a privilege. Despite my considerable experience I was happy to do even the most mundane of tasks and fetch coffee for the likes of these; so grateful was I to be an accepted part of the family. Except that I wasn’t. By the second week it was apparent there was a lot of strain behind those smiles and more often than not people were more preoccupied with holding onto their place at the table than doing their part in keeping the castle running smoothly. I began to notice the cracks in the castles facade, the barely functioning workings and worst of all, the insidious rot that seemed to be spreading, causing even the nicest people to reveal their hidden monsters. The castle of my dreams was not at all what I had believed it to be. I ran. I made it out alive, though it felt only by the skin of my teeth. I was small enough that I was quickly forgotten and the giants turned their attention to other climbers, ones far more skilled and threatening than me.
I wrote my first version of ‘Beanstalk Vertigo’ for one of those climbers who has gone far in his success. Despite his achievements he still feels he is under more strain being chased by giants than in climbing into the sky. Whatever heights he achieves or treasure he gathers, the threats continue and grow and, through my friend’s eyes, I’ve had glimpses of just how scary those giants can be.
It’s very hard to imagine difficulties with giants when you’re staring at an imposssibly tall beanstalk of your own to climb but reaching the top is only half the battle. The other half is staying there - especially if you discover your dreams have all along only been castles in the air.
In revisiting this piece I realized it reflected my own experience more than I initially intended and made me all the more glad I had escaped the castle and now have my feet back on the ground. Next time I climb a beanstalk I promise myself I will be ready to face any giant that challenges me. Despite one dream’s reality revealing itself to be a nightmare I’m willing to try again. Apparently I’m a compulsive climber. I will not give up on my dreams.
When I started this blog I didn’t realize that I would be prompting myself to write essays as I explored the ideas behind my creative scibblings. I haven’t left myself much wiggle-room for the good old blog-staples of personal updates and seemingly random discoveries so I thought I’d try a new adding a little, far less formal, Post Script.
Oh yes, and I’m expreimenting with allowing two double postings per page instead of one.. the idea being that you can instantly see if you missed the previous post AND I get to add more goodies and updates to the sidebar for you to explore!
So let’s see:
Book Review:
I just finished Into the Wild by Sarah Beth Durst and enjoyed it very much. Now I must mention that ordinarily I’m not a big fan of ‘Into the Woods’-style tales - you know, the ones where Cinderella meets Snow White and all their stories overlap? It’s a personal thing of course. That said I still enjoyed this book, which says a lot about Ms. Durst’s storytelling. I was hooked at the idea of The Wild grabbing everyday objects, like shoes, and turning them into fairy tale objects, like seven league boots, to enable its escape and turn a modern day city - and its inhabitants - into fodder for fairy tales. Though clearly aimed at older grade children and up it’s still unpredictable and quirky and enjoyable for adults too. In particular, the sequences where the heroine has lost herself and is struggling to remember are very dream-like and beautifully handled, giving more mature readers something a little meatier to chew on. The ending is satisfying and the epilogue nicely balances out any sugary sweet after-taste the conclusion might lead you to having. It’s also a very quick read (always a bonus with a baby in the house!). Though at times the writing felt as if it were forcibly geared toward grade level readers, overall it was entertaining and I will happily pick up the author’s next book. Quite a different and refreshing take on a very tired theme that’s worth checking out (if you like fairy tales, which, since you’re reading this, I presume you do!).
Discovered in the Woods:
Ooh yes - here’s some links I simply must share:
The Enchanted Forest - did you ever go to one of those little amusement parks on a fairy tale theme (and no, I’m not talking about Disneyland)? I did. I remember a wishing well, where I fervently wished my deepest wishes in whispers before my parents could find me, an huge shoe you could climb up into (from The Old Woman Who Lived In a Shoe) an oversized pumpkin house (Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater) and other wonderful things. This site is one of those little places. Though it’s now sadly in disrepair the archival photos still capture some of the enchantment young visitors like me felt. Makes me wish I had a few spare million dollars to bring it back to life… (after feeding the hungry and finding a cure for cancer of course!)
From the National Library of France here’s a lovely presentation with wonderful, rarely seen images of
The History of Fairy Tales - covering Birth of a Genre, A Marvellous Universe, In the Heart Of the Family, the Ordeal and in Everyday Life. A wonderful summary in pictures and brief commentary text of the influence of fairy tales on our past and our present.
Novel Update:
And how is my novel going? Specifically my 2007 NaNoWriMo novel, currently titled ‘Deadwood’?
I’m still writing it! Though that’s no surprise I’ve found I still have quite a way to go before I finish my first draft. Although I’ve let the frenzied word accumulation of NaNoWriMo and November (and December) dwindle it is never far from my thoughts and growing slowly. My FMC (Female Main Character) has just gotten herself into much more trouble than she thought she would, simply by letting herself fall asleep in the wrong place at the wrong time… so I can’t leave her there! I must go now and see just who it is that discovers her there and what she does when she realizes what she’s done…
Though it’s true that I tend to work on multiple projects at once, keep checking for updates. If you read my unedited-first draft-first-chapter during NaNoWriMo and liked it you may just be surprised one of these postings by another little excerpt… once I get over my ‘page fright’ of how shocking some of this first draft stuff can be, that is!
