Tales of The Ink Gypsy…

Life has a way of throwing things at you just to see how you’ll cope. It was during a particularly challenging time that I wrote ‘Passage’.

I’ve found poetry to be a good tool of personal expression in times of intense stress or strong emotion. Perhaps it’s the need to distill the essence of a feeling down to a succinct turn of phrase. Perhaps it’s the necessary brevity of word choice that does away with any impulse for description or explanation. Whatever the reason, I find poetry the most accessible creative outlet for me during these times.

Apparently this was not one of those times.

Unlike most little girls I never dreamed of being a mother or having a family. When I discovered I was pregnant the shock of adjusting both physically and mentally took it’s toll. For the first time, I found myself truly unable to write. I didn’t lack for ideas. I didn’t have writer’s block. I just couldn’t seem to put words together in any way that made sense, let alone expressed my thoughts or ideas.

I didn’t stop trying.

Whether it was out of frustration, stubborness or the right combination of chocolate and Chinese food one day I’m still not sure but eventually I produced a few lines that didn’t urge me to immediately hit the delete button. Those lines became an unfinished poem. It’s the one creative scribbling I kept from that time that captured some of what I felt about the whole experience. Finding this ‘emotional snapshot’ recently was an unexpected pleasure and I’m so glad I persisted and kept it. It didn’t matter it was incomplete because I found I now had the ability to finally finish it.

The fairytale imagery I used drew from some unusual tales for me, particularly The Three Spinners, The Girl Who Trod on a Loaf and Rumpelstiltskin. Not surprisingly, given the subject matter of waiting and pain, motifs from Sleeping Beauty appeared too, while references to Snow White focused on new life and how time inevitably steals away your youth.

I have one thing to add. The most unexpected thing from this time was discovering a surprisingly fierce love for my little son when he was born. It doesn’t matter that I never planned on being a mother, just that I love being ‘his’. I’m glad I persisted through my challenge. He truly is my unexpected treasure.

Mother Time in her primal hunch
Roughly pulls her daughter along
Swelling flesh and cracking bones hold
Blistering apple skins of change
Wheel is spinning, harelip forming
From labors lasting through the night
Straw-clogged thoughts, needle-pricked fingers
Her feet are breadcrumbs soggy with rain
Thread of burden ripped from the loom
Surrendered in a bloody mess
Raw breath shudders in fragile gasp
More precious than gold she gives him a name
A dim-eyed squint at mirror reflection
Bramble stabs fading - her treasure sleeps.

Image copyright of James Jean - can be viewed at full size under ‘Coverwork - Fables’ on his website. Click on pic to go there.

I wrote ‘One Bean Left’ about four years ago. I was getting frustrated with my creative efforts for other people not leading anywhere and, not for the first time, thought it was time I started putting my creative energy into my own writing and other projects I’d been wanting to do.

I had been reading Jack and the Beanstalk a lot - various versions, retellings, looking at the wide variety of artwork on the subject - and wrote a number of pieces using the tale as inspiration. My own explorations opened my eyes to just how rich this tale was and how beautifully it leant itself as a metaphor for everything from exploring creativity, such as the short story that follows, to growing up, which I will post at a later date.

Now that I have a Jack of my own I have even more ideas bubbling away in my subconscious. I’m currently working on the intense first draft of a new novel but once that’s done I can take a peek into that cauldron and see what’s been brewing. They say you should let a novel ’sit’ for a while before you start editing, that you should turn your attention to something else so that you can approach your story with fresh eyes. I think this bubbling ‘Jack’ project will be the perfect distraction.

In the meantime here’s my take on finding the courage to be creative - for yourself. I think it’s a good place to start.

Yesterday night I found a bean in my seams. I always thought the lining edge of my jacket was an imperfect cut, that this was the reason I couldn’t smooth it straight. I could always tell my jacket because of this. Sometimes that was good, sometimes it seemed bad but last night everything in my head tilted a little when I found the hard little dried up thing. With one little bump my memory was freed and I remembered something I’d forgotten – I remembered myself.

Long ago in my youth I wasn’t so precious about such a common thing. I still slept at night when I threw them away. Little did I know great things start small and before I knew it the impossible had sprouted and was showing me a way to the sky.

But it didn’t take much to shake those roots. Though I climbed successfully I felt like an invader. I forgot the beans were legitimately mine; that I had made that beanstalk grow. That the way led to an occupied land was inevitable and I didn’t realize then that some things are worth fighting to keep, rather than just sneaking out some souvenirs; tokens of a life I wasn’t really living and not likely to either with that “I’ll take what comes to me” attitude.

By a compulsive, youthful whim I did happen to pluck and pocket some fruits from my endeavor; to savor a taste before axing it down. Now this dried up memory is all that remains. Though it’s been many years and my remaining bean seems petrified I can’t help but wonder: If I plant it will it grow? Is there enough life dormant to turn over a new leaf? Could there still be a chance for me, Jack, to live the life I’d always dreamed?

Image copyright of  John Howe - can be viewed at full size under ‘Portfolio/Books With Pictures/Jack and the Beanstalk’ on his website. Click on pic to go there.

Fairy tales remain the truest signposts on my personal journey. With each year that passes I find more challenges to face, more paths to explore and more wonder to behold.

It doesn’t seem to matter where I am or what I’m doing, the footprints of fairy tales litter my path and I remain curious enough to follow. Whether I’m working for myself or for others I find fairy tales have left their indelible mark on my thinking and constantly refer to their stories and the lessons and symbology I find within.

The more I study the more I realize one lifetime is not enough to explore all the riches contained in these woods but that hasn’t stopped me from trying. I’m often found scribbling my impressions on any surface that can be marked; be it paper or leaf, parchment or pixels. As I choose more and more to travel beyond the places familiar to me I discover more and more tales of my own hidden just around the bend.

Here are some of the roads I have traveled, both light and dark, some recommended detours and some places I found I could rest safely while in the woods (the ‘map’ and directions are on the right in the tags).

Whether you stride in seven league boots, dance in red shoes or kick off your glass slippers along the way I hope you enjoy the journey.

PLEASE NOTE: In an attempt to have each blog page read similarly to a web page I will be posting twice per story/poem/etc. At the top I aim to include a little background, the ‘Story Behind the Story’ if you will. The post below it will be the actual piece. I will be tagging each separately to make them more searchable as well. Because this website uses a blog format it also allows for me to add regular updates so you can keep track of what I’m up to. Comments, feedback and suggestions are welcome and encouraged. Your support as I focus on my writing is greatly appreciated - thank you!

My wish is that my efforts here encourage you to pursue your own dreams… you’re not alone in these woods and you’re welcome to share my fire any time!

Illustration 1 by Edmund Dulac, from The Bells and Other Poems by Edgar Allan Poe. Copyright unknown.
Illustration 2 copyright of Angela Barrett from Snow White by Josephine Poole. To see more of her work and read an interview about her illustrations for Snow White, click on the picture.

When I Was Little I Loved…

• Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs
• The Little Mermaid
• The Wild Swans
• Donkeyskin
• Thumbelina
• Twelve Dancing Princesses
• Frog Prince/King

Since I’ve Grown I’ve Come To Particularly Appreciate…

• Red Riding Hood
• Sleeping Beauty
• Baba Yaga
• Hansel & Gretel
• Jack & the Beanstalk
• Diamonds & Toads

My Favorites of All Time Include…

• The Marsh King’s Daughter
• The Wild Swans
• The Day Boy & the Night Girl
• Jorinda & Joringel
• Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs
• Tam Lin

In My Work I Often Find Myself Referencing…

• Jack & the Beanstalk
• The Red Shoes
• The Little Mermaid
• Red Riding Hood
• Tam Lin
• Hansel & Gretel
• Sleeping Beauty
• Cinderella
• Snow White

I’m Currently Reading /Enjoying /Working With /Researching…

• Jack & the Beanstalk
• Tam Lin
• Baba Yaga
• Snow White
• Sleeping Beauty