Unexpected Things
Life has a way of throwing things at you just to see how you'll cope. It was during a particularly challenging time that I wrote 'Passage'.
I've found poetry to be a good tool of personal expression in times of intense stress or strong emotion. Perhaps it's the need to distill the essence of a feeling down to a succinct turn of phrase. Perhaps it's the necessary brevity of word choice that does away with any impulse for description or explanation. Whatever the reason, I find poetry the most accessible creative outlet for me during these times.
Apparently this was not one of those times.
Unlike most little girls I never dreamed of being a mother or having a family. When I discovered I was pregnant the shock of adjusting both physically and mentally took it's toll. For the first time, I found myself truly unable to write. I didn't lack for ideas. I didn't have writer's block. I just couldn't seem to put words together in any way that made sense, let alone expressed my thoughts or ideas.
I didn't stop trying.
Whether it was out of frustration, stubborness or the right combination of chocolate and Chinese food one day I'm still not sure but eventually I produced a few lines that didn't urge me to immediately hit the delete button. Those lines became an unfinished poem. It's the one creative scribbling I kept from that time that captured some of what I felt about the whole experience. Finding this 'emotional snapshot' recently was an unexpected pleasure and I'm so glad I persisted and kept it. It didn't matter it was incomplete because I found I now had the ability to finally finish it.
The fairytale imagery I used drew from some unusual tales for me, particularly The Three Spinners, The Girl Who Trod on a Loaf and Rumpelstiltskin. Not surprisingly, given the subject matter of waiting and pain, motifs from Sleeping Beauty appeared too, while references to Snow White focused on new life and how time inevitably steals away your youth.
I have one thing to add. The most unexpected thing from this time was discovering a surprisingly fierce love for my little son when he was born. It doesn't matter that I never planned on being a mother, just that I love being 'his'. I'm glad I persisted through my challenge. He truly is my unexpected treasure.
I've found poetry to be a good tool of personal expression in times of intense stress or strong emotion. Perhaps it's the need to distill the essence of a feeling down to a succinct turn of phrase. Perhaps it's the necessary brevity of word choice that does away with any impulse for description or explanation. Whatever the reason, I find poetry the most accessible creative outlet for me during these times.
Apparently this was not one of those times.
Unlike most little girls I never dreamed of being a mother or having a family. When I discovered I was pregnant the shock of adjusting both physically and mentally took it's toll. For the first time, I found myself truly unable to write. I didn't lack for ideas. I didn't have writer's block. I just couldn't seem to put words together in any way that made sense, let alone expressed my thoughts or ideas.
I didn't stop trying.
Whether it was out of frustration, stubborness or the right combination of chocolate and Chinese food one day I'm still not sure but eventually I produced a few lines that didn't urge me to immediately hit the delete button. Those lines became an unfinished poem. It's the one creative scribbling I kept from that time that captured some of what I felt about the whole experience. Finding this 'emotional snapshot' recently was an unexpected pleasure and I'm so glad I persisted and kept it. It didn't matter it was incomplete because I found I now had the ability to finally finish it.
The fairytale imagery I used drew from some unusual tales for me, particularly The Three Spinners, The Girl Who Trod on a Loaf and Rumpelstiltskin. Not surprisingly, given the subject matter of waiting and pain, motifs from Sleeping Beauty appeared too, while references to Snow White focused on new life and how time inevitably steals away your youth.
I have one thing to add. The most unexpected thing from this time was discovering a surprisingly fierce love for my little son when he was born. It doesn't matter that I never planned on being a mother, just that I love being 'his'. I'm glad I persisted through my challenge. He truly is my unexpected treasure.
